Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
