stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
