Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We're too hungover to prance.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
