Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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