fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
