I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
