I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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