Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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