Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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