She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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