you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
