I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
