u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
