If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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