OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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