My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
