I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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