there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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