I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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