I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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