"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
