hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
