Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
