So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
