i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
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