If i come over, it means nothing
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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