And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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