Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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