sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
