can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
