I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
