I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
