Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
