My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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