im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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