I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
