Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My cat gives me a boner
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
