What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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