Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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