were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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