Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
