Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
