i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
