i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
