I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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