just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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