i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
they're like a gay fantastic four
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
