He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize