I think I just saw someone hide a body.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
