dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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