The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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