You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
