Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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