Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
