He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
