so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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