with your own penis?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
