So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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